For those that aren’t familiar with the central conceit of my 10-minute play, there are two main characters, Dean McLaughlin and Rev. O’Neill, that argue about how to handle the failing infrastructure of the St. Patrick’s Anglican Cathedral steeple. I’d like to reveal some more scintillating information about these two individuals by answering an age-old question: what are they carrying under their robes? Time to strip like we’re scanning for the TSA!
So, what does the crotchety, old Dean McLaughlin have under his robes? This one’s easy. Absolutely nothing. He’s stark nude. And that’s all there is to it.
The spunky idealist Rev. O’Neill, on the other hand, has a few pieces of hidden luggage under his robes, including his linen undergarments: a rosary and a pair of binoculars. The rosary is fairly self-explanatory, but why does he have a pair of binoculars? There were scandalous rumors upon his initial arrival in Armagh that the goodly young reverend was, in fact, a peeping delinquent! However, once everyone had had their fun of rumor spreading, it came to light that he is simply an avid birdwatcher, which makes a lot more sense, but was a lot less dramatic. Sorry.
As you’d expect, the items these clergymen carry with them are as interesting as the characters themselves: extraordinarily.
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