This is my last blog post! Eep! I’m aware that “eep” is not technically a word, and SpellCheck is equally aware of the fact, but it’s really the only onomatopoeic way I can think of to describe the extremely conflicting emotions that I’m having right at the moment. Do I want to leave Armagh? Absolutely not. Do I want the John Hewitt Summer School to stop? And leave all these fabulous and fascinating people, all of whom are incredibly talented and three of whom have actually asked me where they can buy my novel? Not on the top of my priorities. Do I want to leave the group of six other students I’ve gone through thick and thin, Belfast and Dublin, Shadow of a Gunman and having our souls positively shooken, with? Don’t get me started. Having James leave was hard enough. But everybody?

At the same time, and this might be my trying to rationalise how badly I really do not want to stop living the Writer’s Dream right now, there are some things I’ll be glad to see again at home. My family, for one thing. Clearly my sister is missing me somewhat, as she’s taken it upon herself to photoshop her own face into my travel pictures. Like you do, you know.

Being able to drive instead of taking public transportation for hours and hours at a time, for another thing. And being able to open the windows without moths and spiders and mosquito eaters crawling through the screen-less space, for a third.

But really? Is it worth it trading in the incredible experience I’ve had here in Armagh for a piece of mosquito netting and the twenty-minute commute to the mall? Is it worth longing for the comforts of the world I’m used to, even if it means giving up the amazing and new experiences I’ve had here?

Fortunately, the way I’m looking at it, I don’t have to.

Sure, I’ll be heading home on a flight Sunday morning, traveling for about twelve hours before collapsing in my own bed back in Michigan. But when I wake up the next morning (or afternoon) (or maybe on Wednesday), I’ll still have so much of the experience I’ve had here. I’ll have the hundreds of pictures I took across Ulster and the Republic. I’ll have the knowledge I gained of a totally different culture and its rich and controversial history. I’ll have the 50,000-plus words of a novel that I began here, and plenty of inspiration to finish it up and send it on its way.

And I’ll have the people I met here, whether through Facebook or through planned and hoped-for reunions or through just the memories and the friendships that we made.

Terri, Kimberly, Joan, Nessa, thank you all so much for all you’ve done for me. You’ve taught me about writing and about my own limitations and skills. You’ve helped me become an actor when I thought the closest I could get to acting was reading Death of a Salesman out loud in senior year English, and for the confidence that gave me I’m forever grateful. You helped me through the tough times I had while abroad, and you helped me celebrate my successes. Nessa, you called me out when I wasn’t doing my best and helped me find the path in my story I was really looking for all along. And looking back at my writing, I can honestly say I couldn’t have done it without you. Without all of you. Best. Faculty. EVER.

Kelsey, Katie, Chloe, Savanna, Chris (had to go meta on you, one last time), Jonathan, and James. You all are the best. I’ve never lived with a group of people in this close proximity for this length of time, sharing one power outlet and one bedroom, and not been seriously annoyed with them by the end of the journey, ready to get home and close my door and not speak to anyone for three weeks. But I can honestly say that I’m having as much fun being with all of you here on our last weekend as I was on our first. If not more. You guys are the best. You inspire me, you make me laugh, you’re always there for me, and you indulge me when I get sappy. I couldn’t have asked for better people to tackle Armagh with.

And I’m going to relentlessly Facebook stalk each and every one of you. Just so you know.

All in all, (I don’t want to end this blog post because it actually means I’m going to go home soon…) the Armagh Project was incredible. Eye-opening. Amazing. Productive. Mind-melting. Serendipitous. Majestic. Excellent. Righteous.

And I sincerely hope that Armagh Project: All Stars actually ends up happening. Because I’d like nothing better than to come back to this hilly town of two cathedrals in five years, to see this ragtag bunch of Americans I barely even recognised at Dublin Airport a month ago, and which has become like a family to me.

I’ll miss this, and I’ll miss you guys. Keep writing, and keep being amazing. Shouldn’t be hard.